my personal emotion April 20, 2009

This is why i love the song “The Last Goodbye” by James Morrison.

This is my escape emotionally song. When i felt hurt the most, this song is just cried out all i wanna say. This is what i wanna said out loud for you. YOu, the one that hurt me the most. You know i will never come back. Don’t give me another lie, because i know all your deceiving words. After all of this time, the one that i thought i knew all about, is just a piece of rotten apple. I can’t take anymore, because now i knew, i never be on your mind. You just think about you, and yourself. If you think i’m wrong or whatever, i’m not gonna listen. I don’t wanna know anymore, anything about you!

I don’t have to give you a reason for leaving that time. Because yes, i hardly know you, maybe i never did anyway. And thank you for giving me pain. Because now i grew stronger. And can see a better world upon me. Not just a frog in the drawer. Maybe this is my only way of being melancholic. I’ve learn my lesson twice. And you know what, you both will deserve what you deserve. I have my own life. And i’m happy now, because i’m leaving that time.

Last Goodbye ~ James Morrison February 16, 2009

I don’t believe you

And I never will

Oh I can’t live by your side

With the lies you’ve tried to instill

I can’t take anymore

I dont have to give you a reason

For leaving this time

Coz this is my last goodbye

It’s like I hardly know you

But maybe I never did

It’s like every emotion you showed me

You kept well hid

And every true word that you ever spoke

Was really deceiving

Now I’m leaving this time

Coz this is my last goodbye

I’ve gotta turn and walk away

I don’t have anything left to say

I haven’t already said before

I’ve grown tired of being used

And I’m sick and tired of being accused

Now I’m walking away from you

And I’m not coming back

namidairo…just keep moving… February 12, 2009

Today, became the day i’ll stand up tall. And leaving all behind, and making new start…move on maybe the right words…this is the song that express my feeling well…right now…

Namidairo ~ YUI

Getting a feeling that I’m being disliked.. on the way home
Looking up at the brightness of the room
I wonder what kind of feelings I’m experiencing now

When we get into a fight I apologise immediately
I’m weak, and you are such a sly person

During nights when my tear-stained voice cannot be heard
I want to become wilful even if it means being a nuisance
Tried to say I’m alright but
That’s not possible isn’t it

I’m accustomed to seeing my sorrowful face reflected in the puddle
Because I’m fully aware of my intention not to say that I give up/in… I become hurt

Whenever I’m treated gently by you I will feel like crying, you’re really such a sly person afterall

During nights when my tear-stained voice cannot be heard
I want to become wilful even if it means being a nuisance
Tried to say I’m alright but
That’s not possible isn’t it

In front of you I’m such a liar you know
Kept thinking “I hope that you would realise this”
Because I’m not in the least that strong at all

Despite already deciding not to allow my tears to fall
I’m troubling you ain’t I? I just can’t be wilful

Once again I asked myself if I was alright but
That’s not possible isn’t it

Namidairo [romaji]

Kirawareteiru you na ki ga shiteta kaerimichi
Miageta heya no akari ima donna kimochi de iru no darou?

Kenka ni nareba sugu ayamaru yowakute anata wa zurui hito

Namidairo koe ga kikoenai yoru wa
Komarasete shimau hodo wagamama ni naritai
Daijoubu sou itte mita kedo
Sonna hazu nai desho…

Mizu tamari ni utsuru kanashii kao minareteiru
Muri iwanai tsumori wakatteru kara kurushiku naru no

Yasashiku sareru to naketekuru yappari anata wa zurui hito

Namidairo koe ga kikoenai yoru wa
Komarasete shimau hodo wagamama ni naritai
Daijoubu sou itte mita kedo
Sonna hazu nai desho…

Anata no mae ja uso tsuki yo
Kizuite hoshii to omotteiru no
Sonna ni tsuyoi wake ja nai kara ne atashi

Namida kobosanai kimeteita no ni
Komarasete shimau yo ne? wagamama ni narenai

Daijoubu? Nante mata kiku kedo
Sonna hazu nai desho…

PS: after all of this time, i thanked God i knew you. And thanking God for making me strenght and mature through all of this time. Thanx for everything, now i’m ready to go on by myself…

kangen lagu sherina kecil September 14, 2008

entah kenapa di hari minggu ini, di malam hari, pengen nyanyiin lagu2 sherina yg jaman kecil duluw….

kangen ama kenangan masa kecilkah?ataukah karena memang lagu sherina keren yg duluw2?hemmm…yang pasti langsung browsing ke youtube n dapetnya lagu2nya yg andai ku tlah dewasa, ama lihat lebih dekat…huhhuhu….kereennnnn

LIHAT LEBIH DEKAT -sherina-
Hatiku sedih

Hatiku gundah

Tak ingin pergi berpisah

Hatiku bertanya

Hatiku curiga

Mungkinkah kutemui kebahagiaan seperti di sini

Sahabat yang selalu ada

Dalam suka dan duka

Sahabat yang selalu ada

Dalam suka dan duka

Tempat yang nyaman

Kala ku terjaga

Dalam tidurku yang lelap

Pergilah sedih

Pergilah resah

Jauhkanlah aku dari

Salah prasangka

Pergilah gundah

Jauhkan resah

Lihat segalanya lebih dekat

Dan ‘kubisa menilai lebih bijaksana

Mengapa bintang bersinar

Mengapa air mengalir

Mengapa dunia berputar

Lihat segalanya lebih dekat

Dan ‘kuakan mengerti

watch me unfold August 25, 2008

Lagunya Marie Digby yang lumayan mengena kalo u lagi melankolis mode on. hehehehe….Kan suka2 tuh kalo lagi ndirian trus u ngelamun, kok gw masih kayak gini2 aja sih, apa gw yg kurang terbuka ama orang. ato gw belom bisa membuka diri, soalnya u masih memakai topeng orang lain supaya dapat berbaur dengan org laen. Sehingga all you need to do is barely unfold yourself, be who you are. Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Watch me unfold. Oh…so me right now.

unfold ~ marie digby

What I can remember
Is a lot like water
Trickling down a page
Of the most beautiful colors
I can’t quite put my finger down
On the moment that I became like this

You see, I’m the bravest girl
You’ll ever come to meet
Yet, I shrink down to nothing
At the thought of someone really seeing me
I think my heart is wrapped around
And tangled up in winding weeds

But, I don’t wanna go on living
Being so afraid of showing
Someone else my imperfections
And even though my feet are trembling
Every word I say comes stumbling
I will bare it all
Watch me unfold
Unfold, unfold

These hands that I hold behide my back
Are bound and broken from my own doing
And I can’t feel anything anymore
I need a touch to remind me
I’m still real

‘Cause, I don’t wanna go on living
Being so afraid of showing
Someone else my imperfections
And even though my feet are trembling
Every word I say comes stumbling
I will bare it all
Watch me unfold
Unfold, unfold

My soul
It’s dying to be free
I can’t live the rest of my life so guarded
It’s dying to be free
It’s up to me to choose
What kind of life I lead

‘Cause, I don’t wanna go on living
Being so afraid of showing
Someone else my imperfections
And even though my feet are trembling
Every word I say comes stumbling
I will bare it all
Watch me unfold, unfold, unfold
Unfold, unfold, unfold

I will allow someone to love me [9x]

BALI journal part-1 August 17, 2008

Jurnal ini diperuntukkan bagi semua anak2 gila yang seru2 selama di Bali: NIN, JAW, LAU, NIK, BOW, ING, TIK, and me, FRI.  Dan juga untuk yang tidak kesampaian ikut dalam petualangan kali ini karena berbagai hal: NIL, VIN, ANN, LIZ, FAN, NAS, MAR, RIK, SAN, WEW, dan kawan2 lainnya. Kalau kesampaian kita petualang lagi yuk.

I will miss our madness there, our adventure in our rent car, our crazyness during our lost in the road trip to Denpasar, our non-architecture conversation, the sea sickness while waiting for the snorkling time, our all-the-time-narcissistic photo session, us watching sunset together, our food hunting all over Denpasar and Ubud, our war while rafting at Ayung River, our super non-romantic dinner at Jimbaran, and all of the moment we spend together there.

bali >> 18-22 juli 2008

PROLOG | Portfolio, dokumentasi karya-karya selama tugas akhir, menandakan saatnya selesai urusan tugas-tugas kuliah. Malam terakhir begadang mengerjakan portfolio tugas akhir, nanti pastinya begadang untuk hal lainnya dunk. Ditemani YM malam2, bersama beberapa kalong lain yang juga terpaksa membuka mata mengolah photoshop. Para makhluk perfeksionis yang tidak mudah puas akan hal-hal biasa. Dan mungkin juga para kalong pemalas yang memang baru mulai mengerjakan malam terakhir itu (peace bagi semua,hahahhaa). Yang pasti di hari pengumpulan itu tanda-tanda kesibukan dan kepanasan (tentunya) sedikit terasa. Kesibukan menjilid soft-cover (yang dilakukan dengan luar biasa cepat dan profesional oleh mas-mas di Garuda Copy Centre, namun menyisakan sedikit sobekan pada gambar kerja saya, terima kasih), kesibukan mencari CD kosong dan tempatnya, kesibukan menge-print cover CD, kesibukan mencari Pak Suci (yang ternyata masih santai di tempat bertenggernya yang biasa), dan kesibukan para makhluk yang diberi kehebohan untuk tugas Public Expose (kalian memang hebat). Semua kesibukan itu akhirnya meleleh setelah semua dari semua berkumpul di Cantina. Tempat yang diberkahi pendingin udara dan berbagai makanan (walau saya pribadi belum menemukan menu favorit disana). Berakhirlah hari itu, hari perasaan dikejar-kejar di kampus. Dan dimulailah babak baru pengejaran lain di tempat lain. Pengejaran hartakah? Pengejaran kebijakankah? Pengejaran harga dirikah? Pengejaran kebahagiaankah? Yang pasti satu babak hidup kami, para pejuang telah selesai dan kami bersiap memulai petualangan baru.

Wow…my own blog! August 17, 2008

Hi…welcome to my blog. karena baru nih bikin blognya juga, jadi kudu cek2 dulu gimana cara ya make nih blog. maklum masih nubie…tapi nanti saya akan sering bercuap2 disini. Hahahahaha…

hari ini hari kemerdekaan Indonesia loh. Tapi kenapa saya malah tidak ikut upacara? Tidak ikut lomba panjat pinang? tidak ikut lomba makan kerupuk? Malah membuat blog ini? malah berada di rumah? wah2…pastinya bukan karena saya org yg anti sosial atau bahkan tidak suka makan kerupuk loh. Mungkin saya memang tidak suka memanjat2 (apalagi pohon pinang yang notabene dipotong dengan sangat sadis setiap menjelang kemerdekaan RI seperti saat2 ini, saya kan Go Green, ehmm…ga gitu efek ya?). Tapi saya di rumah turut merayakan kemerdekaan Ri dengan ikut menghabiskan kerupuk yang ada di rumah (biar kesannya ikutan lomba makan kerupuk gitu…hihihi).

Satu lagi…selamat hari kemerdekaan Ri ya…luph my nation, proud to be Indonesian. You can change your attitude, but you still be an Indonesian inside. (misalnya tetep suka gosip, suka nakal, suka lelucon, suka lagu2 indonesia…hahaha…kayak itu indonesia banget ya) MERDEKA!!